One day a young boy finds a condom on the floor

One day a young boy finds a condom on the floor. He brings is to his father and asks, "What is it?" His father replies, "Oh, that's a twinkie son, if you find anymore bring them to me and I'll give you a quarter." The next week the little boy returned to his mother's house with a lot of quarters. His mother asks, "Where did you get all those quarters?" The little boy answered, "Daddy gave them to me for finding twinkies for him, but what he doesn't know is, before I gave them to him, I sucked all the cream filling out.

A blonde was standing in front of a pop machine

A blonde was standing in front of a pop machine. Her boyfriend looks over and hears her screaming at the machine..."You're a dumb-looking button!" "You don't have much of a future, either!" "You're going to be replaced by a much better looking button!" "I've got better looking buttons than you in my dresser drawer!"Thinking she flipped her lid, her boyfriend walks over to see what the fuss is about."What in the heck are you doing?" her boyfriend asks.The blonde quickly points to the sign on the front of the machine that reads... "DEPRESS BUTTON FOR ICE".